Frugality

 

March 24, 2024

Dear Family:

I’ve been looking forward to this week since January 1.  Spring Vacation (in Oregon anyway)----because I don’t teach piano during Spring Vacation.  I do enjoy teaching.  I enjoy it especially when they practice.  But only about 20% practice regularly so it can get grueling.  Glennda and I have spent some time this week contemplating if we should do something together or go somewhere because for the first part of spring vacation Scott is doing his annual march madness vacation in Vegas with his friend Ray. But we still haven’t decided.

However, during the process of discussing our options, we got off a tangent and ended up commiserating about how cheap we are.  We don’t mean to be, but it just is part of us:  1) Glennda spent more time/money/anxiety trying to buy used ‘new to her dining room chairs’ than it would have to buy new chairs.  It ended up that she didn’t like them after going to the trouble of finding the house where they were.  She will probably donate them or sell them.  2) She saves cardboard – especially the ones under the TP at Costco – they are really good for art projects with her grandchildren.    1) Suzanne, I needed a new a project because I had finished my “easter table topper” so I decided to make a new denim purse.  I loved the last one I made, but I decided to make one just a bit bigger.  I used all fabric I had on hand and it only cost me $1 to buy “D” rings.  So good!  2)Then I was trying to go through fabric to throw away fabric that I didn’t like, would never use, am tired of---then I ran into some white terry cloth left over from making 2 little girls’ robes.  Do you think I could throw that away – NO!  I made 7 new wash clothes.  Cheap!! 

While we were telling each other our “I’m so cheap” stories we laughed our heads off.  It is something we can’t seem to change.  My children have gently and lovingly made comments about how frugal I am.  I’m not offended, it is just a fact of my life.  Actually my patriarchal blessing states how I will be a frugal housewife.  (I got my blessing when I was about 16). 

I don’t know whether it is even worth the time to spend on trying to decide WHY.  It very well may be because of financial conditions in our family as I was growing up.  It is a fact that dad was raised on a farm where extra money was non-existent.  Mom was raised by her grandparents in very financially tight circumstances.  Maybe it is genetic.  Maybe it is environmental.  Who knows?   I look at it this way; being frugal  is better than being in debt, better than having guilt because I’ve bought something I couldn’t afford. 

And I also think it has benefited me and my family from the beginning of our family.  I started out making clothes for Amy from outfits that Judy didn’t want anymore.  I could even send photos.  Amy thought it was cool, because she idolized Judy and she thought she was very special.  Because I was raised on a farm (in my early years) I learned to cook from scratch.  No Kraft mac and cheese, no store bought anything except the staples.  Mom was a good cook; simple and meat and potatoes stuff – like farmers eat.  So that’s what I did.  Everything from scratch! After I learned to sew as a teenager I discovered that I loved sewing – it brought a huge feeling of accomplishment and I loved to see my children in clothes that I had made for them.  I used to also make homemade gifts for baby showers – there were lots of baby showers when I was raising the kids.  Then it turned into quilts.  

Mile a Minute Quilt

Judy's fabric in the Center

Trail Mix pattern

Yes I do buy new fabric for most of the gifts that I give to my children and grandchildren and greats.  Every time I buy batting and backing fabric that is new – for sure.  But for some crazy reason I get a tremendous amount of satisfaction from using us scraps.  (I’ve made several quilt tops from scraps; scraps from my old fabric and from Judy’s fabric.) 

If Judy were here she would join in and tell Glennda and I how cheap (thrifty; frugal) we are.  She honestly did try to help us.  The only thing I hope is that it doesn’t embarrass any of you.  I enjoy buying things just everyone, but trying to decide if I REALLY NEED it is another story.

I have watched with interest how people a few years ago got all carried away with TINY HOMES.  Deciding what was only absolutely necessary became a nationwide fad.  It is okay for a while.  I lived in an Airstream for about 6 months.  Truthfully – I loved that airstream.  If I had my way I’d still have it.  It is kind of refreshing to not have so much STUFF!

Well enough about frugality.  I love to see the blossoms on the trees, the daffodils and tulip’s appearances, and little green buds showing up all over this spring.  I have wintered over my geraniums from last year (and the year before).  We will see how they fare.  I was really temped to plant them last week when it was70 degrees, but I remembered that lots of rain comes in late March and April and to be patient.  I remember my grandmother started new geraniums from cuttings in mason jars of water in her south facing windows during the winter in her house in Wellsville.  She had a really hard life, but every time I crochet on a hankie, or look at my braided rugs or a picture that I bought that was a duplicate of one in her house, I think of her and what a great influence she had on me.  Sometime I will tell you about her life and why she is my hero.

Frugality quotes: 

“There is no dignity quite so impressive, and no independence quite so important, as living within your means.”
― Calvin Coolidge

“Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things.” ― Elise Boulding

 “He who will not economize will have to agonize” ― Confucius

 Wealth can only be accumulated by the earnings of industry and the savings of frugality.-John Tyler

 These quotes always inspire me and validate me, because I find people who think like me.  That is one of the great blessings I have these days, my sister Glennda who thinks like me and is “frugal” like me.

 Enjoy spring, enjoy East next Sunday.  I am so grateful that I was raised on a farm, raised with the teachings of the gospel, and a knowledge that Heavenly Father loves each of us. I’m grateful for Jesus’ sacrifice for all of us.

 

Love Mom, Grandma, Great Grandma, Sister and Aunt Suzanne

What do we do with our talents

 

March 16, 2024

Dear Family:

I’ve had many things on my mind this week.  One of which is talents.  But before I talk about talents I wanted to extend my heartfelt sympathy to Sheri.  Her son Garrett, 27 years old, passed away Friday.  I can only imagine the devastation she must feel.  I have lost parents and my dear sister Judy, but to lose one of my 3 children would be unimaginable.  I love you Sheri. I am sure I speak for everyone.

Saturday I took 4 of my 10 piano students to Woodland Heights Assisted Living facility for a mini recital to perform for the residents.  My friend Norma lives there.  But even before she moved there, I had taken my students there to share their talents.  1) It gives them exposure and practice in playing before strangers.  2) It brings joy to people who are lonely, don’t feel their best, and it brings happy memories back in a flash.  I got there a few minutes early and several ladies remembered when I brought them before and when I brought my band to play for them on Valentine ’s Day.  5 of my students couldn’t make it.  That’s okay because I had the 4 that were there play everything they have played recently.  Mikki Steele’s grandson Henry, was the last performer and he wowed them.  He played a Hymn, a prelude, a ragtime tune, William Tell Overture, Superman and Pink Panther.  I had him play last. He likes to play with strength and he got a great ovation.  Then afterwards I had people come up to tell me how it reminded them of when they were young, and great times they remember at piano concerts.  It was a great feeling to share.  That is one of the great things about learning to play piano (a talent) – it is easy to share with others. 

I have been thinking about talents and gifts that we have been blessed with.  I can remember as a girl and a young mother, I thought that I didn’t have a talent.  I thought that I was “a jack of all trades and a master of none.”  I thought well that’s okay, I can do a bunch of things kind of good.  But I was always envious of Judy and Glennda.  Judy had a lovely alto voice and Glennda could draw beautifully even as a girl. As time went by and I watched my children, I remember giving them opportunities in different things.  I thought I’ll see what they are good at.  I remember Brian coming home from 3^rd or 4^th grade and he had discovered Hardy Boys mysteries. He even took his book to a dinner at church!  I remember he didn’t like baseball, but he was excellent at supporting Brad and Amy in their activities.  I remember Amy discovered dancing in the 8^th grade when the Jefferson teachers came to their middle school.  Then with Brad and Brian’s urging she tried out for Gendrils at Grant High School.  She made it and danced all 4 years.  I remember when Brad was in high school he was noticed by his choir teacher and she asked him to learn a song for a solo contest in the school district.  Each year he got better and by his junior year he was taking voice lessons and auditioning for the lead in South Pacific and Annie Get your Gun. 

I also discovered that different talents are important at different times.  Those talents that our children discover when they are young help them to grow up, learn new things, discover things about themselves and their self-esteem climbs.  Not ever teenager in the same family is going to be good at the same things.  Sometimes shyness or not wanting to be compared to each other enters in.  But I remember Brian watching with such pride as his sister and brother performed.  He even was a dancer/singer in Annie Get your Gun and Amy secured a spot at a young girl in the same production.  I also remember reading some of Brian’s papers in high school and college.  I was totally amazed at his ability to express himself and reach remarkable conclusions.

Why am I retelling all this?  It is because those talents were terrific at that time. They helped my children through the difficult teen years.  They gained experience in tackling something hard and succeeded. As college students, spouses then parents - those experiences helped them whether they realize it or not. I see my grandchildren exposing their children to sports, books, activities and socializing.  What wonderful effort that will see wonderful rewards.

Now back to me being a “jack of all trades and a master of none”, it is very interesting when I think about it.  I remember writing to Michael Schnell when he had to put his talent and love of photography on the shelf for a time, while securing a job to support his family.  I told him at the time that he should never forget about his talent and that very likely later in life he will be able to pour his heart into his talent and his love of photography.  I gave myself as an example.  Mom made sure that I learned to play the piano.  At 8 she taught me basics and kind of let me then teach myself.  When we moved to Portland at age 12 ½, I started piano lessons.  I never did get really good.  I was what you would call an intermediate.  But at age 56 I married a musician.  He plopped me right into a band reading the bass part of the arrangements and playing through a “nano-bass” where the sound came out sounding like an acoustic stand-up bass.  Later he plopped me into playing piano and ‘comping’.  After 13 years it became something that I could hold my head up and smile and be proud.  Even though the marriage didn’t work out, he told me I had more natural talent than he did.  But the difference was, he started at an early age and practiced hours and hours a day.  He became very good and traveled as a professional musician.  He also said, that I shouldn’t be too hard on myself because my parents had no way of knowing that I had that talent. I was raised on a farm for heavens sake. Mom played, so we wanted each of us kids to play.  Marrying Burgess was good for me and helped me learn things about myself that I would never have learned any other way.  Now I have a band and I teach piano.  I’m still not the best piano player around – but I’m much better than I was. I still have difficulty sight reading, but I know my chords (from lessons I took at 12, 13 years of age) and I used playing in Burgess’ band and in my own band.

I also have another talent that my mom encouraged.  When I was a freshman at Gresham High School I took a “Home Economics Class”.  Half of the year was cooking and half of the year was sewing.  I loved the cooking, it was easy because I cooked at home.  But the sewing class opened up avenues of expression that I could never have imagined at the time.  I remember bring home a skirt from my class and I didn’t know how I would sew the hem by hand.  Mom sat down and showed me how to sew a blind hem by hand and my teacher was totally amazed and of course I got an A.  After that I just kept sewing.  Clothes for college, wedding dress for Glennda, suit for Brian when he started passing the sacrament at age 12 (boy was I proud of that suit), dresses for Amy, jeans for all 3, and lots of clothes for my kids.  Then when I started having grandchildren, I brought out my knitting needles and made sweaters and vests for them.  My grandmother had taught me how to knit and purl when I was 10 or 11.  Bless her.  When I moved to Arizona with Burgess I started quilting in earnest.  It was my escape from 12 hours a day of music-music-music.  I have now given some of those early quilts to my family.  But since then I have made quilts when my grandchildren got married. And on and on.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we just never know what little exposure will turn into a gift/talent that can be made into being “a master of something.”  Our love/talent may be delayed for a while; mine was delayed 40 years.

I enjoy reading quotes from famous and not famous people. 

·        “Talent you have naturally.  Skill is only developed by hours and hours and hours of beating on your craft.”  Will Smith

·        “Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God”. Leo Buscaglia

·        “I have no special talent.  I am only passionately curious.”  Albert Einstein

·        “Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.” John Wooden

·        “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me”.  Erma Bombeck

 

I realize that we all have something to offer to this world.  Heavenly Father sent us here (luckily in this family to members) to learn, grow, develop talents and help others; our children, our siblings, our parents, our associates, our friends and others.  Our talents help us along the way.  One of the great pleasures I have at this stage of my life is bringing music to people.  My band isn’t famous, it isn’t current and it isn’t going to be; but the older people that hear my music smile, remember and I see joy in their faces.  It is an extra plus when they come up to me after and want to tell me a story or thank me for helping them remember or compliment me.  At this age what could be better.

Have a wonderful week.

Love Mom, Grandma, Great Grandma, Sister and Aunt Suzanne