The influence of Loved Ones

 

October 2, 2022

Dear Family:

There was quite the celebration going on in Brooklyn, New York this weekend. All of Mike’s 4 boys and partners and all of Amy’s family are meeting to celebrate Spencer and Sinan's marriage.   Amy and Mike left Thursday morning for New York.  Tanner, Haley & Claire left Friday.  I took Conner to the Airport Friday midday.  I had a gig in Vancouver yesterday afternoon so it was no trouble dropping him off.  I had made Spencer a quilt (as I have all Mike’s boys) quite a while ago.  As you know it is my tradition to make all my adult children a quilt when they get married or set off on their adult jouney.  So Mike and Amy took it with them. Mike’s boys call me G-Suz.  I love it and they melt my heart when they call me that.  How could I not include them as members of my family?  They are all probably on their way home by today.

I had a wonderful chat with Conner on our way to the airport.  He drives for a living, so I asked him to drive.  I was free to chat to my heart’s content.  His personality, his demeanor, his personal philosophy and his life path are interesting to explore.  He asked about my decision to try to change my weekly letter to a monthly letter.  I almost made it.  I had to write last week to share a nice experience.  I’m writing this week because that was my date to start my monthly letter. I told him that I thought I’d passed on all the wisdom and advice that I could think of.  Conner and I talked about what inspires us and related why I want to continue writing to my family even if it goes monthly.  It is because I hope there is something that I can pass on that can be an inspiration to my children, grandchildren or great grandchildren.  I told him about how a friend sent me a passage from a newspaper that changed my life when I was in the middle of my life’s biggest struggle. So maybe I’m decided that maybe I can share something that will have meaning to someone in my family and I won’t stop.  It just might not be EVERY week, or it might??

My patriarchal blessing says that my greatest responsibility in life will be to prepare my children and my grandchildren for this life and eternal life.  So, I can’t drop that responsibility.  When I think about people who have been a big INFLUENCE in my life, besides my parents and Judy & Glennda, it would be my Aunt Margaret.  She was my dad’s youngest sister.  Interestingly, we only visited with them rarely.  Dad took us to visit them once when they lived in Salt Lake City.  I think Margaret and Kenneth were newly married.  Then Aunt Margaret came to visit us once when we lived in Vale on the 80 acre farm. 

This photo was taken probably in 1954-55 when Margaret brough her girls and Grandma Myrtle Short to visit our family on our farm near Vale Oregon.  Suzanne front, next Judy, 

 

The next time was when Dad insisted that I take my amily to go visit her in Hayward CA when we were on our way home from Disneyland.  That’s only 3 times in 40 years.  But I remember she was so warm, welcoming, nurturing and generous when we visited her.  Brad was totally impressed with her and couldn’t believe how different she was from her brother Glenn (Brad’s grandfather, my Dad).  On our way home from California, Brad told me that he wanted me to be a grandmother to his children like Margaret was to him and Brian and Amy.  That introduction between Brad and his great-Aunt Margaret continued when Brad was at Rick’s college and their musical group visited Roseville, CA .  Aunt Margaret and her husband Bill Kinney were at the stake center to pick up students to take home and have them stay the night.  Brad spotted Aunt Margaret and their love for each other continued when she took him and a friend to her home.  Later she kept my sisters and I involved in family reunions and we went to two; one in Utah, one in Idaho, and we had one here.  A year or two before her death, I organized a “Flash Mob Reunion” where all the cousins that could, arrived in Granite Bay, CA, and we had an impromptu reunion.  I had spent time with her in 2011, and 2012 at her house helping her prepare materials for her “Book”.  She wanted to write a history of her parents, siblings and her own Family Story.  In the process I learned that she and Dad were very different.  She was a great student and had a great singing voice. She related that Glenn, her brother – my dad, had a learning disability and it resulted in bullying at school.  He eventually dropped out.  He had a terrible inferiority complex regarding school.  He worked very hard on the farm with his brothers and was very close to Margaret as she was the youngest, and he was second youngest.  She told me all about some of their childhood experiences and what life was like in their little community.  Dad had never talked about school, his childhood or his community.  She told about the trip she took with her Father and Mother to pick up Glenn from his mission to the Southern States – Texas particularly.  As a result I understood my dad much better, even though it had been years since he passed away.

She had a remarkable impact on my life.  She had 4 children of her own, but she loved her nieces and nephews and worked very hard to help us learn to love each other.  It was because of visiting her during General Conference time in Granite Bay that I listened to conference and was inspired to start writing my weekly letters. I felt this huge impression that I needed to do everything in my power to be as close to my family as I could.  I felt that so strongly.  I started that week and it is now part of my life.

INFLUENCE: Sometimes it’s during chats, sometimes it’s something that someone else says, sometimes it’s sharing lessons learned the hard way that inspire us to improve our lives, or change the way we do things. Sometimes its just an example or a feeling we get when we are with them.

I’ll never forget Brad asking me to be a grandmother like Aunt Margaret to his future children.  She poured love, attention and her undivided attention on Brad, Brian and Amy.  She was a wonderful example. 

(I signed Judy's year book on the "Senior Awards" page.  I was 18, she was 15.)

Judy was my little sister, but I love to think of all the good times we had as little girls, as teenagers and most assuredly as mothers.  We shared so much.  A couple weekly ago I went to my 60^th high school reunion and noticed I had Judy’s 1962 yearbook.  I needed to look up people I didn’t recognize. She was a freshman and I was a senior.  I looked inside. I had written, “You little nut, but I love you more than anybody else.  Love Suzie”.   I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to realize that I had expressed my love to her when I was 18 and she was 15.  All the years of exchanging advice in raising our children, housekeeping, cooking tips, and just sharing life are choice memories that I will never forget.  She taught me about generosity. I miss her everyday.  But her generosity will always stay with me and I will try every day to be as generous as Judy.

As you know General Conference is this weekend. I’ve watched all 4 sessions so far and will watch the last session this afternoon. I’m always spiritually uplifted and it has never failed to do so.  It always amazes me how the talks by our general authorities are so specific and so beautifully prepared.  Stephen Lund, presiding bishop, spoke today and reminded me of the many years that I served in the Young Women organization in our ward and in the stake.  I understand that now “Especially For Youth” (EFY) has been changed to “For the Strength of Youth.” (FSY) I like it better.  He talked about FSY and girls camps that he and his wife were involved in.  He talked about how those returning from those “spiritually uplifting” events and returning missionaries alike are challenged with returning home and staying spiritually uplifted.  I remember my children making sure that their children were able to go to EFY or FSY.  I’m grateful that they were able to afford to send them.  I remember Brad and Brian returning from their missions and their challenges..  I’m proud of Carter that he is now enjoying this experience.  I’m proud of Taylor, Tanner, Michael,  Kenlee, Haley, Jake, Corbin, Zack & Clarke for going on missions as well.

So after being spiritually uplifted as well I’ve contemplated that "YES" I still have wisdom and experiences that can be passed on to you.  I know that there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think of each of you.  President Nelson’s message was wonderful and at the end he said, “Strengthen your loved ones.”  I don’t live with any of you.  I don’t have the opportunity to talk to you in person every day.  I just have my experiences and thoughts to share with you.  So I’ll keep writing my lette/blog to my family. It may be every week, it may be every other week, it may be every month, but I can’t quit.

I love the modern methods of sharing family photos of the great grandchildren and the records of their growth and daily activities.  Cooper and McKay, Cole, Claire, India, Emery and Addie’s photos thrill me.  I treasure those photos.  I treasure all of you.  Thank you Amy for sending photos from your exciting weekend in Brooklyn, NY.

Have a wonderful week.  Keep up all the good things you are doing and the amazing examples you are setting for your children and grandchildren.  I love you.

Love Mom, Grandma, Great Grandma, sister and Aunt Suzanne